Women: How Do You
Know if He is the man?
How do you know if the man you are dating is
the person you should spend the rest of your life waking up next to?
Is this a hard nut to crack for women? Of course that is often the
case! But we try to proffer some ways to help you answer this
question. How do you know if the guy you’re dating is “the One”?
Will you “just know”?
The scary part about marriage is most people
make this decision simply because they are in love (or infatuation
sometimes), which by definition means your mind is hazy and thrill
of thinking no one has ever loved like this before.
Dating James for me meant my journal entries
were frequent and swirly, with emotional statements in all caps like
“JAMES IS THE GREATEST ... AND HE LOVES ME!” I will tell you that I
knew he was “the One” the first month we started talking; he knew I
was “the One” after he saw me perform a contemporary song with our
church choir. Long story.
But how do you know? How do you know if the man
you are in a relationship is the person you should spend the rest of
your life waking up next to?
To another person, the ability to discern if
your guy is right for you depends on who you’ve dated in the past
and whether or not you know what a good relationship looks like.
For example, if you have only dated players or
even mediocre guys in the past and suddenly you decide a boyfriend
is “the One,” I would caution you to take a step back, stoop and
really evaluate. Sure, he may be better than all the other guys
you’ve ever dated ... but you don’t marry better, you marry BEST.
Amen from the married ladies?
Let’s look at a few characteristics of “the
1. Your friends and family agree.
Most of them, at least. If most of your friends
and family think your guy brings out the best in you and will be a
great person to start a life with, that is a very good sign you
might have found “the One.”
You’ll want to be careful here with extremes.
If everyone in your life has raised concern—parents, friends and
most people who know you well—I promise they are not trying to bully
you; only to care for you because they can often see red flags that
you cannot see. But it’s unreasonable to think that everyone will
agree with your decision, so do not worry if just a handful of
people do not like his taste in music or his career.
Is he trustworthy? Humble? Kind? Forgiving?
Character makes marriages stand the test of
time. Integrity is synonymous to Character. Character is who he is
when no one is looking.
Does he do what is right or what is easy for
him? Men of high character bring out the best in you. Are you a
better version of yourself since meeting him? Will the two of you be
better together rather than apart? These are all great questions to
consider in making this choice.
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